Hi! I’m Nick.

Unbeknown to all except to my closest of friends, that I'm currently undergoing one of those tough periods. It's not that whatever I do things tend to go awry, but I could just be standing still minding my own business and things will either go bad, or worst, give me a burden to which to carry inside to wonder, and feel. I'm just one of those guys that keeps a door open always for anyone, regardless if my desk is already full. Sincerely, I'm rather tired and just need to regain my tenacity.

1. My day job - daily operations, the team dynamics, my KPI, the future, and the agenda.
2. Problems a friend is having with his family - drama wei!
3. The backlog of my social calendar - family & friends I just need to meet with but haven't the time.
4. The completion of my personal project - left hanging.
5. Girls - explains itself enough.
6. The loan of my new car - went to the nearest KWSP, and bank with the KWSP kiosk - both down for repairs. Went online to print, account deactivated, have to go to a KWSP centre to reactivate. WTF.
7. The removal of my wisdom tooth - delayed to a Friday so I can avoid taking further medical leave. The infection already gave me a fever last weekend. Damn the pain.
8. The planning of the next outing/holiday with my core friends - the decisions, RSVP, dates, dietary concerns, personalities, location, etc.
9. My investment in a government bond - awaiting finalization.
10. My lack of engagement (in the last 2 months) with the community I manage.
11. My further training at Mercy Malaysia.
12. My recently lost camera - Now to replace. Thinking Panasonic LX3.
13. My readings - my book I've yet to finish, the magazines I've just bought, and the list of website articles that are growing longer by the day.
14. The gym, and the constant eating to fuel it - I've gained 4kg, I can't allow that to slip away. I've missed the gym for 2 weeks already.
15. My upcoming 8TV reality TV show trip - Early August, and my partner's back in New Zealand.

I'm just crazy.

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Hi! I'm Nick, and I'm some sort of a crazy person.

I don't know about you, but whenever I'm asked this question, I get stunned. Stunned, because the question is so spiralling-ly profound and multifaceted. Which strikes me as rather odd y'know; like when you're engaged in small talk with someone you just met, and all-of-the-sudden he strikes you with, "So, how's life?"

*boggle*

Firstly, who the flying fuck brings a question like that into small talk? And how can you suffix a question like that with a mere ‘So’, you patronizing bitch!

Sure, you can just be polite about it by saying; subconsciously saying, “It’s alright”; therefore, finding both parties consensually nodding understandingly, followed by a momentary moment of quiet awkwardness. Of course, being crazy isn’t easy, my internal monologue tells me to think this through, nay, thoroughly and give a proper sincere response. Ok, so I have to think about it.

Most possibly the most appropriate word that one could say is: fuck - and say it in a variety of ways one can;

“So, hows life?’

• “Fucked” (Translation: My life sucks nuts)
• “Fuck yeah!” (Translation: Want some weed?”)
• “Fuck” (Translation: I left the gas on back home)

When faced with this situation, I go through a series of processes in my head. First is to collect ‘source data’. I proceed to flashback to an earlier memory; shuffling through all the milestone events like a rollerdeck of cards. This flashback could be anywhere between 24 hours, and decades, depending on how close we are – because then my answer will be accurately sincere enough for me to live with myself when I give a response; otherwise, there will be an internal debate whether I should’ve used the word (example) ‘Great’ instead of ‘Good’ – who the fuck thinks like that? Seriously.

This source data is then sent to the department of reasoning, and comparision. This is where things gets fucked up. Chunk by chunk of the ‘source data’ is analysed or rehashed back. This brings in opinion, doubt, the benefit of the doubt, perception, morality, ethics, yadda yadda. Things get jammed here.

So in other words, if someone I recently met asks me; ‘How’s life?’ – I collect oh, perhaps 24 hours to a couple of days worth of source data. If someone I’ve known for a very long time asks me the same question, I begin to collect an insurmountable amount of source data - which takes me way too long to process – jamming me up. Thus, in both cases of recently met, and long time friends; more often than not I give the standard sincere response of...

“Oh, it’s alright.”

((This post is dedicated to my bro, Alfonso Mingo, who recently asked me how’s life. Bastard.))

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